About 2½ years ago I used to look at all pregnant women with envy; I, too, wanted to be pregnant! But Albert kept saying he wasn't ready yet, and it wasn't the right moment. Is there ever "the right moment"? My pregnancy happened very much by chance, it was possibly not the best moment, but it was definitely not the wrong moment!
Three months into the pregnancy, I started looking at moms with babies in strollers with envy; they had the whole pregnancy-thing over and done with, as well as childbirth, something which really scared me! Completely unnecessary, since I didn't feel a thing and it was one of the most incredible moments of my life - the only part of the whole process I would repeat again! I never ever want to be pregnant again, I never want to be in labour again, I don't want to have more babies, but I do look back on the approximately 30 minutes it took to bring Liva and Laia into this world with great fondness and happiness!
When Liva and Laia were a few weeks old and I started taking them out more often, I used to look at moms with older kids in strollers with envy; they had this whole baby-thing over and done with. I didn't realize it at the time, but the first 6 months were rough! Babies are boring, trying to breastfeed 2, trying to set up a schedule for 2, trying to sleep normally with 2, it's just really hard! Luckily, I had no idea while I was in the middle of it, it's only now, looking back, that I realize just how tough it was.
Now, when I go out for walks, I look at the other moms and smile. I look at pregnant women and think "good luck - I hope your pregnancy is easier than mine was!", I look at moms with little babies and think "I hope you enjoy this time, it's rough but it flies by. Things only get easier and better!", I look at moms with kids who seem around Liva and Laia's age and think "I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am, I hope you enjoy your children as much as I do mine!", I look at moms with older kids and think "soon Liva and Laia will be that age, things will be easier than now, but I thoroughly enjoy every second of them now, and hope I will continue to do so in the future!".
There are still things I look forward to - I can't wait for Liva and Laia to start talking and communicating for real, I'm quite excited about getting rid of diapers - but I no longer envy anyone. I am happy just where I am! I am happy with Liva and Laia, I am happy to have been blessed with 2 children at the same time, I am thankful I never have to go through 9 months of pregnancy or 6 months of baby-life ever again!
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